Any climate change denier who sees their image reflected in this mirror will die. It’s possible even looking at an online image of this mirror will make a climate change denier terribly sick.

This theory needs testing so I’m looking for climate change denier volunteers who are willing to further our understanding of the universe by looking at an image of this mirror and standing in the middle of the Burwood Highway on a dark night wearing dark clothing. If they survive, this would disprove my theory and we can move on to working out why Andrew Bolt is such an idiot and why Peter Dutton’s head hasn’t exploded yet despite so many people of pure hearts willing it. Maybe despite all the evidence, witchcraft doesn’t work. Who knows?

A climate change denier walked past as I was carving this piece and the next day they got hit by a truck and their body was torn into several pieces and smeared all over the road, which would have been tragic if it had happened to a normal person. Though I did think that the bus load of school children who were at the scene and cheered “Yay, a climate change denier has died a horrible death. Maybe God does exist” possibly demonstrated a slight lack of empathy for those less evolved amongst us.

A lot of my friends believe that this incident was just coincidence, but I‘ve studied quantum mechanics and astrophysics quite deeply (I read a book and watched a couple of youtube clips) and if there is one thing that modern physics, black holes and dark matter teach us, its that climate change deniers should all die. And soon too, would be good.